I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
