She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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