Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
