Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
