He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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