Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
