What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
