i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
