brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
