Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
