So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
