She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
