It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
