Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
