Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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