I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
