Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
