This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
