The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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