i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
