You made me cry and you don't even care
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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