when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
