he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
