just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
whose parrot is this?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
