i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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