I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
