smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
should my penis look like a turkey
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
