he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
birth control should be required to get into college
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
