The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
