You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
