Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
