Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
