BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
