I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
