no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
