I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
