I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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