she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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