he was CRYING into my vagina
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
