And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
