ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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