He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
