You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
this hospital has no fireball
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
