Don't make out with my wife yet
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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