sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The beer is more important than you right now.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
