when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
