you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
