There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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