Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
