wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
